I’ve been lucky enough to be a performer on the Mission: Rejected podcast since its very first episode. Since then, I’ve played dozens of characters, appeared in a pandemic-era livestream, and made some very good friends.

Last year, I came across an article about a divorcing Russian couple who had previously founded Europe’s only cryonics storage center—and who were now snatching cryogenically preserved brains and bodies from one another—and shared it on Facebook. One of the Mission: Rejected co-creators, the brilliant and funny Pete Barry, commented that the premise sounded like a Mission: Rejected episode, and I told him I was calling dibs on co-writing the episode with him.

Had I written an episode of Mission: Rejected before? No.

Had I even written anything like it before? Also no. At least, not in recent memory.

But Pete was confident we could do this, the rest of the team at The Porch Room agreed, and now, here we are. I’m pleased to share Mission: Rejected Season 4, Episode 9: “Eight Heads in a Birkin Bag.” I’m pretty proud of how it came out.